Labor day for me is always a sad or sullen type of day, for one main reason,
I'm a teacher and it is back to work and the end of the summer season. I don't have children, so I am not like the women in the Staples commercial, singing "its the most wonderful time of the year" . I am with the kids behind her, shuffling my feet with my head down sulking, because I will be getting HER children.
Me and another teacher friend get together every year in my yard and sulk. Maybe sulk is not a good word, but its definitely very quiet sitting in that yard. Its a tradition. We do it every year.
Labor day, is like my New Years Eve. It is a day when I look back at the year and see where I went, or what I did or do not do. How have I grown or what will I do this year ?
Different cultures have their calendars that begin at different times, Chinese, Jewish, Roman, Teachers. Yes my date book is an Academic calender, it starts in September, not January.
So to all you teachers out there, Happy New Year, lets make it a good one !!
I think about the job that affords me a decent medical co-pay, July and August off to explore my creative side, sleep till noon, travel, stare at facebook for hours on end and do absolutely nothing . But this job is beginning to scare me. Not because I am in a school with teens, but because I have been there over 10 years ! It is starting to get functionable . Not sure if that is a word, but I heard that word again recently. Someone very dear to me described their marriage as functionable. I don't know if its a good word or a bad word. My father was a functionable alcoholic. He held a job and a drank his face off till the day he died with a beer in his hand. Do we love things that are functionable ? or do we learn to love them ? I never wanted to be a teacher, but hey its not that bad, I get along with kids, I think I teach them stuff, plus there is always July and August, so am I a functionable teacher ?
The word fucntionable reminds me of the word security. Sometimes when things are secure, or when things are functioning, we don't reach for change, we dont take risks. I like risk, but as you get older you like security, so every Labor day I battle between security or risk. I am returning to my teaching job, a job that I am good at, one that pays my mortgage and a job that affords me security. But every year I return to a job which was never my career. As the years keep adding on taking a risk seems harder and harder.
So I have tried to mesh the two, secure my nest, while also taking risks. Now I understand what a good manager is all about . So I ask myself, how did you challenge yourself this year ? Did you go after something that you wanted ?
I quit smoking, I traveled several times, I made sure I got off this Island often. I became really good at making good facebook statuses.
Check.
Standup took a back seat this year, but I began to blog and I am writing a book. New creative ventures for me.
The biggest risk ?
I opened my heart and found the man who touches my soul, a feeling that not many people get to feel in their lifetime .
I also tried to start my own family, through insemination, I tried 3 times.
But with pregnancy and relationships, timing is everything, so even though I did take the risk, my timing was off. As I comic , I know that timing is everything !
Once again tomorrow I am going to sit at the faculty meeting and listen to the countless names of people who had children, or became pregnant, those who were married, or those who got engaged, and once again my name is not going to be called. Its sad. Its sad but not tragic. Sad, that my biggest risks did not pay off. But because I took those risks, I have never felt more alive in my life ! So definitely not tragic. Tomorrow at the meeting when my name is not called, I definitely will be sad. But for kicks, I should take a risk, raise my hand and say, " Hi, I did not get pregnant or get a husband this summer, but boy did I have a great time trying !"
Happy New Year Everyone !
