Teaching today

Teaching today

Regents is your exam 

Common Core is your standard

Danielson will be your Rubic

Administration does the measurement.  

Where do you find time for the students ?

Yo Ms.

Summer Goals

A common line in my standup and in life is ,, what do you like about teaching, and I say , "July and August".  Yes it is the truth, but for so many reasons.  Of course I need a break from the insanity of the DOE.  The summer is a  chance to recharge and come back  refreshed and ready to teach.    I also love July and August because it gives me a chance to catch up with my other career.  Hence the summer goals.  I did this because one summer I had none, and I went crazy !  No big adventure, nothing major in comedy, no personal fix, like weight loss.  So I drank heavily, not really a good summer.  In fact I don't really remember much of it .What I do remember is late August I was depressed, fatter and sweatier.    Being a Spinster I have no one to answer to, so if you do not set your own personal rules, who do you have to answer to ,, no one.  I see that as a blessing and a curse.  Now September -June what gets me out of bed ?  Children , not mine,  my students.  I always have this repeated nightmare of not waking up on time and thousands of children standing in front of my classroom with their arms crossed tapping their feeting, all shouting, at many different times,, " your late Ms., where were you "   Who needs an alarm clock.  During the summer , there is no one, kicking me out of bed at a set time,, so that could lead into a dangerous abyss of late nights staring at facebook, early mornings staring at facebook, long hot afternoons staring at facebook.  The opposite side is that I dont stop working and  be the industrious Protestant that I am, work , work, work and more work.  Then in September go back to work, exhausted.  One year I made so many goals, I got tired just looking at them on paper.  So I downsized my hefty goals so I can also have some fun.  Yes being a Spinster, you must always have fun , the number #1 rule,  People depend on their single friends to have fun. While they are arguing with their spouses to pick up their shit, or yelling at their kids,  "that's what we are eating for dinner, if you don't like it, too bad"  .  Spinsters need to go and have fun for the rest of us.  You tell us to. " well you must go out and have fun, you don't have a husband or children to answer to".  Ok so fun is a Spinster given, a must, it is our duty.  I will always do my duty.
Right now ,
the main things in my life would be :
writing
stage time/performing
healthier
love
So this is my Summer Goal:
 everyday I have to do something from each category, and my mom told me I need to add another category, called " get rid of that s**t in your house".  Add the most important, to  enjoy myself !

I am not going to finish my book
I am not going to lose 30 lbs
I am not going to be on stage every day
I am not going to be in a healthy relationship. 

I say that this summer because I need to remind myself that it is also my vacation.
Those 3 are my long term goals,  NOT  my summer goals
but I will-
work on my book and work on getting more published
exercise, cause I simply just don't now
go into the city, hangout and network at clubs
and to be open to more possibilities of love

 One of the perks  about being single, you only need to consider you  when making plans .  Enjoy .
Check one of my goals off my list today !

An Eddie Izzard Education

10 years ago.
It was the last day of classes and I need to entertain my Global Sophomore history class. I decided to show Eddie Izzard's "Dressed to Kill" . I figured it would be good, the kids are fried from prepping all week for the Global Regents, getting kids to work on the last day of classes is impossible and Eddie does a great bit on Western Civ., so this will be perfect.
I thought about the cursing ( kids is it ok that Eddie says the F word a few times ? ),
Comments the first few minutes from the kids
Ms. He is not from here is he ?
Ms. Is that English ?
Ms. Whats with the lipstick ?
Ms. Is he gay?
I say, "No kids he is a transvestite , he likes women."
He's gay Ms.
That gay guy is funny Ms.
I shout, "Transvestite ! An action transvestite !" Whatever they're listening !
So the kids are listening, laughing, I am hero, problem solved .
Then my Assistant Principal walks by.
He sees the kids laughing and calls me out to the hall way.
He says, " What are you doing ? Why are they not studying , they have a regents tomorrow"
I say, " Look they are fried, we have been working all month on the regents, plus Eddie does a great bit on Western Civ "

He walks away shaking his head, and then I start to worry.
Wow, I don't have tenure, maybe I should of studied, what if if they all fail the regents.
What if they go home and tell their parents that we did not study, instead we watched some guy who wears lipstick and drops the f word a lot. !
I break into a sweat, kids we need to study !
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They revolt ! This guy is great !
I decide to stand ground with the kids and kept Eddie on, hell I could go back to waitressing if need be. Plus when parents ask their kids what they did in school, they always say, "nothing" .
The next day the kids take the Global regents.
I am standing in the history office and this kid Peter runs up to the office , and right in front of me and my boss he says,
"Ms. thanks for showing that comic, I remembered everything ! "
Im teaching Global again this year, I think I need to bring in that tape.

that smell in the air

Tonight I opened the windows and let the cool air in. I stepped outside and put my bare feet on the concrete, it was cold. And then it happened, happens every year, there was this smell in the air, that back to school smell. It came a little early this year, usually I feel it on labor day, but I guess Irene brought it a week early. I don't know how you feel about that smell, its all different for each of us. I have to go back to work after 2 months of vacation. Its all over, the summer. There is a pressure I seem to always put upon me, summer is suppose to be monumental. If your going to do this, summers must great, that is why I took this job, July and August.

So now summer is over, was it monumental ? No. There was no Solo Show in the Fringe, No reuniting with the love of my life in Europe, there was no baby, no marriage, no weight loss, no book, no fame, no fortune. Anything but monumental. But I did have a lot of fun, some sleep, some travel, some learning, some therapy, some sun, some writing, some reading, some cleaning, some paperwork, some cooking, some eating, some friends,some family, some visitors, some facebook and of course Edie, Ed and Flo. So in having a summer of small stuff was a first for me, and in that case I guess monumental.

Some people say I should be happy to be working, that I have 2 months off, that I have health insurance, a pension, live 20 minutes from my job. They're right, sort of.

I want to live in a world that everyone gets a nice long vacation, has health insurance, a pension, easy commute, job security.

Shouldn't we live in a society, that an employee is healthy , refreshed, nourished, inspired. Then we will produce better, have better results. Funny. those words are what I am expected to give my students ! So summers are important, needed and if you want teachers to return in September, mandatory !

Hmmm there is something in the air.

Labor Day blues

Labor day for me is always a sad or sullen type of day, for one main reason,
I'm a teacher and it is back to work and the end of the summer season. I don't have children, so I am not like the women in the Staples commercial, singing "its the most wonderful time of the year" . I am with the kids behind her, shuffling my feet with my head down sulking, because I will be getting HER children.
Me and another teacher friend get together every year in my yard and sulk. Maybe sulk is not a good word, but its definitely very quiet sitting in that yard. Its a tradition. We do it every year.
Labor day, is like my New Years Eve. It is a day when I look back at the year and see where I went, or what I did or do not do. How have I grown or what will I do this year ?
Different cultures have their calendars that begin at different times, Chinese, Jewish, Roman, Teachers. Yes my date book is an Academic calender, it starts in September, not January.
So to all you teachers out there, Happy New Year, lets make it a good one !!

I think about the job that affords me a decent medical co-pay, July and August off to explore my creative side, sleep till noon, travel, stare at facebook for hours on end and do absolutely nothing . But this job is beginning to scare me. Not because I am in a school with teens, but because I have been there over 10 years ! It is starting to get functionable . Not sure if that is a word, but I heard that word again recently. Someone very dear to me described their marriage as functionable. I don't know if its a good word or a bad word. My father was a functionable alcoholic. He held a job and a drank his face off till the day he died with a beer in his hand. Do we love things that are functionable ? or do we learn to love them ? I never wanted to be a teacher, but hey its not that bad, I get along with kids, I think I teach them stuff, plus there is always July and August, so am I a functionable teacher ?

The word fucntionable reminds me of the word security. Sometimes when things are secure, or when things are functioning, we don't reach for change, we dont take risks. I like risk, but as you get older you like security, so every Labor day I battle between security or risk. I am returning to my teaching job, a job that I am good at, one that pays my mortgage and a job that affords me security. But every year I return to a job which was never my career. As the years keep adding on taking a risk seems harder and harder.

So I have tried to mesh the two, secure my nest, while also taking risks. Now I understand what a good manager is all about . So I ask myself, how did you challenge yourself this year ? Did you go after something that you wanted ?

I quit smoking, I traveled several times, I made sure I got off this Island often. I became really good at making good facebook statuses.
Check.
Standup took a back seat this year, but I began to blog and I am writing a book. New creative ventures for me.
The biggest risk ?
I opened my heart and found the man who touches my soul, a feeling that not many people get to feel in their lifetime .
I also tried to start my own family, through insemination, I tried 3 times.
But with pregnancy and relationships, timing is everything, so even though I did take the risk, my timing was off. As I comic , I know that timing is everything !

Once again tomorrow I am going to sit at the faculty meeting and listen to the countless names of people who had children, or became pregnant, those who were married, or those who got engaged, and once again my name is not going to be called. Its sad. Its sad but not tragic. Sad, that my biggest risks did not pay off. But because I took those risks, I have never felt more alive in my life ! So definitely not tragic. Tomorrow at the meeting when my name is not called, I definitely will be sad. But for kicks, I should take a risk, raise my hand and say, " Hi, I did not get pregnant or get a husband this summer, but boy did I have a great time trying !"

Happy New Year Everyone !