Its not the worst thing in the world

Last tuesday , I found out my second try didnt take. I was not pregnant. I was surprised, I was late and I am NEVER late. But I was not totally surprised b/c I could not wait the long weekend , so I bought one of those EPT tests. I couldnt wait to take a picture of the "double bar" that says your pregnant, and post it on facebook. But I did not get the double bar, so I thought its too early, it must be wrong, I am never late. So when I took the official test with my doctor, his answer was the right one, not pregnant. I hung up the phone and cried, floodgates,, so much so that when a close friend called I could not talk and said I need a few minutes. I cried like I lost a great boyfriend, something I was used to feeling, it hurt just as much . When I got into this fertility thing , I did not expect to be so emotional. I guess maybe I expected it to work !! I was more scared actually starting it, thinking , "ok now your going to do this, by yourself, 1,2,3, jump ! " Now that I committed to it, and it failed, it really is like committing your heart to someone, then it does not pan out in the end.
But I am handling this like another 'break-up" Feel bad about it for a week, then move on. So I did, I sat around, slept late, drank , ate bad things, watched tv, starred at facebook too much, dreamed a little, listened to really bad love songs and cried.
Then I realized, its not the worst thing in the world, I am trying for gods sake !
I live in a nice house, I have my dog flo, I am healthy, and I have a job that gives me off July and August ! and I worked enough overtime to buy me a fridge and send me back to where I love the most , Ireland !
So I will try again next month, and maybe I will be luckier. If not , at least I know what I am in for, because being a spinster I am no stranger to heartbreak, but I am always so much stronger in the end.